Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
