Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We have started to decorate penises.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
