I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
