THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
