Christians are straight up FREAKS
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
