My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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