You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
