I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She announced her abortion via fbk
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
