We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
