she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
