I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
