I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
