Just fell off a train. Bad.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It was like giving head to a cactus.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
