so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
