I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The uberlube is also flammable
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
