i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
