if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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