Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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