whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Reggie can tackle my bush.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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