careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
