the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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