fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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