Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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