I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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