Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
