spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
