i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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