Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
