his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
