Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
