College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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