Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
