I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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