If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
