Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
