you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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