you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
