May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
