He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
