im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
