Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
