easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
