What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
