Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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