I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
