Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
