One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
