thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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