we need to drink 2009 down the drain
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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