I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
