I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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