I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
