Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
