Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He passed out mid-signature
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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