Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
